August 16 2010

Lonely



Hey yall!



As of yesterday, I have officially lost 11 pounds1 I am completely blow away by the emotional support I have been getting! It is amazing and in a sense it almost feels too good to be true. I knew that people cared about em before, but I guess in a sense I have been so numb emotionally to let people in. I know that right now I am so open and exposed for everyone to see and quite vulnerable. It makes me a little nervous, but I am trusting God. I have been praying for divine connections and for me to be completely connected to people that God would have me to be connected to for this season in my life. It is just so hard to trust. For some reason I completely trust my coach, otherwise I would have never started this with her. She is one of those people that you see right through-she is pure and genuine and has the biggest heart of gold. She is a modern day "Mother Theresa" I know I can completely trust her and she won't let me down. I trust Mel for the same reasons! Genuine, pure and good hearted!



Mentally over the past two weeks I am feeling better about going out in public- not a whole lot but the fact that I know I am working out and changing my life makes me hold my head up a little higher. I feel accomplished and I don't mind parking further away from the school to walk him in. I don't run out of breath anymore coming back to the car! I still have a problem with speaking to men and most women. Men are a real struggle for me, while women are more hateful and cut-throat. I hate the media for that...they are always talking about celebrities who have put on 5 pounds and taking pictures calling them fat and pointing out their flaws and putting on a idealistic view of how a woman should look and I hate that!!! I have already told y'all that I have tried all those diets etc, but this time I am doing it for real! I'm eating a proportioned, balanced diet and exercising and what a big difference that has made!



I know that I won't quit this time! Knowing that you have people watching you, behind you rooting for you and telling you that you can do it and that they are proud makes you feel proud and unstoppable! Thank you for all of your support! I really appreciate and love you so much!!! - Audra